dreary dreary dreary

it's terribly dreary outside. it looks (and feels) more like late october than august. i'm in the mood to wear sweaters, drink hot tea, and eat soup.

i want to do nothing more tonight then read this terribly embarrassing book i'm currently engulfed in and catch up on some movies. no going out, no alcohol (well, maybe a glass of wine), none of anything that could be considered crazy. i think i'm getting old. school has started and it's already left me exhausted. going out doesn't hold the appeal it once did.

how am i going to meet new people? be social?
i'll worry about that at another time. right now i have other things to focus on. things that need my undivided attention. things that will hopefully lead me to part of the ultimate goal.
the rest will come in time.

i feel the incessant urge lately to be creative. i'm sad my little camera is on it's last leg and that i have yet to save up all the money for it's replacement. i want a little film camera to play around with and i think i'm going to start dragging my polaroid along for the ride, use up some of the last remaining film. i feel the desire to draw lately, but i'm held back by the frustration of being out of practice, of never really ending up with the finished product i'd originally envisioned in my head. i'm mulling over a story idea in my head, one i've been conjuring up for a couple of years now. i just need to put pen to paper, or fingers to a keyboard for that matter, and get it out there.

i don't know what i'm waiting for.